Parenting Lessons, level 1

Luke is one today. This past year has been one of the most educational years of my entire life.
What did I learn? Well, let me share some of what I picked up over the last 12 months.

I learned...

• that other people's kids, with the exception of nieces and nephews, just aren't as cute as one's own.
• that grandmothers can be just as competitive as mothers.
• that sleep, which I thought I didn't need in mass quantities, is more essential to me than food.
• that very few people can resist a cute little boy whose mother dresses him in Carhartt onesies, jeans, and work boots.
• that a houseful of men who generally can be fairly vulgar can switch to baby-mode in a split second and not think twice about it.
• that babies instinctively know that dogs like table food.
• that dogs know exactly who to be near at mealtime.
• to keep my mouth shut about the neighbor's kids (by the way--they now have four; twin girls were born in August).
• that I had all the answers to parenting issues before I became a parent.
• that people without children seem to know everything there is to know about them (even though they clearly do not!).
• that hormones take a while to balance out after delivery...like, a year or more, in some cases. 
• that my husband is the most patient man on the face of the earth.
• that teething hurts! Those little teeth are sharp!!!
• that it's easiest and most effective to baby proof the house by doing the majority of it before baby comes, and then follow baby around for a week so you can do it right. 
• that routines change as quickly as they develop.
• that nap time is a sacred time...for everyone. 
• that parenthood is not for the faint of heart or feeble-minded. 
• that if it can be picked up, it immediately becomes his new favorite toy. And no, it doesn't matter what "it" happens to be. Shoes, measuring cups, rawhide bones...(don't worry--I don't let him eat those, only the cow femurs. Kidding...).
• which restaurant bathrooms have changing tables and which ones don't. 
• that there is no such thing as a leak-proof diaper, bottle, or sippy cup, no matter what they say. 
• that in everything I do and every decision I make, I immediately think first about how it will affect my son.

I learned much more than what's in this list, but it is late and I should be sleeping. 

Good night, dear reader.